Why am “I” in Haiti?
I often ask that question. First, I know there are so many people that could do the job better, sometimes it frightens me. Sometimes I feel the reason He has me here is because He loves me so much - there are so many blessings. Then at other times I feel like God has me here for punishment – it’s not an easy life. At other times, I think it’s because there are so many lessons that I still need to learn about life that He plunked me down where I’d have to learn or else...
Whatever the reason, I am often (usually) grateful. After all, those are all valid reasons. In knowing others could do things better, it keeps me humble. In experiencing God’s love, it’s worth it all. In punishment, it’s probably needed then. In other lessons, well that’s the purpose of life, right? Learn what you need to learn. For me, relationships is probably the top of the list there. It’s what you can pray for me personally the most if you want to pray for me. Living here, you can’t avoid it. It’s always around you – the Canaan kids, the Canaan staff, the clinic staff, patients, teams coming through – short or longer term, friends; And then the people of Haiti...
I often pray that God would give me a passion for the people – after all, that’s who I work with. After a day like today, I feel a bit lost in that area. I’m not sure where my place is, or what I’m to do, because I feel so helpless. There is such a big need, and I have to turn my head the other way. Is that really God’s way, or do I not see something I need to be doing?
We went to St Marc, where a pastor said he had a village of 60 malnourished kids. A team of 9 of us (incl. translators) went. It was an interesting place, seeing how to get to the place we basically walked up a mountain of rocks. About the width of a narrow road, it was solid rock – probably 200 feet or more steeply up, with houses all around. Pictures don’t show depth very well.
I often ask that question. First, I know there are so many people that could do the job better, sometimes it frightens me. Sometimes I feel the reason He has me here is because He loves me so much - there are so many blessings. Then at other times I feel like God has me here for punishment – it’s not an easy life. At other times, I think it’s because there are so many lessons that I still need to learn about life that He plunked me down where I’d have to learn or else...
Whatever the reason, I am often (usually) grateful. After all, those are all valid reasons. In knowing others could do things better, it keeps me humble. In experiencing God’s love, it’s worth it all. In punishment, it’s probably needed then. In other lessons, well that’s the purpose of life, right? Learn what you need to learn. For me, relationships is probably the top of the list there. It’s what you can pray for me personally the most if you want to pray for me. Living here, you can’t avoid it. It’s always around you – the Canaan kids, the Canaan staff, the clinic staff, patients, teams coming through – short or longer term, friends; And then the people of Haiti...
I often pray that God would give me a passion for the people – after all, that’s who I work with. After a day like today, I feel a bit lost in that area. I’m not sure where my place is, or what I’m to do, because I feel so helpless. There is such a big need, and I have to turn my head the other way. Is that really God’s way, or do I not see something I need to be doing?
We went to St Marc, where a pastor said he had a village of 60 malnourished kids. A team of 9 of us (incl. translators) went. It was an interesting place, seeing how to get to the place we basically walked up a mountain of rocks. About the width of a narrow road, it was solid rock – probably 200 feet or more steeply up, with houses all around. Pictures don’t show depth very well.
The walk up
Starting down
Pastor Galile
Almost down
Something close to a fight broke out over tracts.
Something close to a fight broke out over tracts.
It was a wonderful view, since the ocean is right there. When we got there, they handed us a list of 120 people waiting. What makes that difficult is that the majority of those don’t qualify for our program – either they don’t fall into the age bracket that we have, or they’re not malnourished enough to admit.
Getting ready to weigh and measure
I had the difficult job of initial screening.
It didn’t take them long to notice one of the first things I do is check their upper arm circumference. I had a dozen moms shove the arms of their little ones to me – some even grabbing my hand and putting it on their child’s arms. Honestly, that hurts because I can at a glance see that their child is too old for the program. Then they say, I’ll give my child to you. One actually pushed her thin 10 yr old to me and stepped back, begging for me to take her; many of them saying ‘this one has no dad, or no mom and dad’. And all I can do is look at them and be sorry. Is that really all I can do????
In two weeks (July 1) I’m taking a break and going back to Canada, and some other traveling for 2 ½ months. I’m hoping the time away will renew my energy, and give me some wisdom to see what my place here is.
In two weeks (July 1) I’m taking a break and going back to Canada, and some other traveling for 2 ½ months. I’m hoping the time away will renew my energy, and give me some wisdom to see what my place here is.
Till next time!
Elsie
3 comments:
wow Elsie, I can imagine! It is just so hard to know what is the right thing to do to best help them in the long run. I have recently been hearing about asking for God's wisdom.We must continually pray for God's wisdom, and if we are asking with the right motives, He will grant it to us.
I was reminded of the starfish story,I wander if you've heard it. maybe I will share it just in case you haven't. A man was walking the beach one day after a high tide had just went back out. He noticed a man walking along the beach, he was bending done picking up starfish which were scattered over the beaches. The first man said to the second, why do you bother to throw the starfish into the ocean, there are soo many out here it won't really make a difference. The second man reached down picked up another starfish and as he tossed it into the ocean he said, it made a difference to that one.
Keep doin your best and let God do the rest.
Sister Boni : )
Elsie,
Super excited that you are getting some time to recoup. I want to encourage you though and let you know that there are literally an army of people here in the states that follow and support MM financially and in prayer and you are the hands acting the work. Thank you for giving so many people a reason to shift the often center focus on others and bless them in such a great way through your work.
I can't wait to come back to Haiti and serve alongside you.
Dear Elsie
Not sure if you will remember me but I was the nurse pratitioner that came with Bunker Hill last January. I was amazed to read that you felt others might be able to do a better job than you. I was so impressed with the wonderful job you were doing that I just assumed you wouldn't have any doubts about your abilities. The clinic is blessed to have such a capable nurse. Hope I can see you again when we come in Feb '10. Blessings Jody Moodie
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