Exerson

Thursday

This evening I'm just going to let my mind wonder and see what comes out (the good thing is the delete button on this computer works, though you may not think so).

How am I? Not sure. Maybe I'll know by the end of this blog.

I've been dealing with Roseland, Exerson's mother. Exerson has been in our Medika Mamba program since sometime in the summer. He came to us very dehydrated, and extremely malnourished. On top of that, I saw immediately there was something wrong with his development but at the moment that was a minor concern. The urgent one was keeping him alive. We immediately took him to the St Marc hospital and he was admitted for dehydration and pneumonia and stayed for a week. (if you've followed my emails, you may remember the baby that died that we took to the hospital. It was the same week Exerson was discharged) so the two were always linked in my mind - same problem, one survived, one didn't)

He has been in the MM program ever since and it's been a struggle for me, because I don't think there were more than about 2 or 3 weeks when the mother did not report that he had a fever. And sometimes she'd bring him in between and he'd have a fever of 103, 104. I did tests, had doctors check him, a couple times she went to other doctors, and it would go on. He would have seizures.... 

I'd look at him and wonder how the mom does it. She's really poor, yet she faithfully fed her 15 month handicapped, malnourished child. I must say though, physically, he was looking much better. He had gained quite a bit of weight. A few weeks ago she brought another daughter who was starting with kwashiokor (severe malnutrition) and we admitted her into the program too. There are 3 more but not all live with her I believe.

Then on monday she came to tell us Exerson passed away at the hospital from a high fever and seizure. The number she said isn't possible so I won't repeat it. 

Here's where my heart started getting more involved. She has nothing and was wondering if we could help her with a coffin. Funerals are so different here - guess it depends how much money you have. They like to go all out and do it as well as their neighbors. People will go into debt that takes them years to pay. Roseland didn't seem that kind, but she looked so dejected about it. When you don't have money for food for your living children, how do you bury your baby? We ended up paying the grave diggers, the morgue, the coffin, the clothes for the coffin. She said she had nobody to help her.

This afternoon Jamil, our driver, got the baby from the morgue and one of the girls and me went along to the grave. I wasn't sure what to expect. The mom wasn't there. They unloaded the coffin and took it straight into the hole. They looked around, wondering if the mom was there. Somebody said she wasn't, so they started closing it. Probably the whole thing didn't take more than 10 minutes. No prayer, nothing. There were about 13 people there, including some onlookers and 4 from Canaan and the hired grave diggers. 

I left wondering about life. What's in a funeral? Is it all for the living? Does it make a difference? Why does it seem so wrong to put someone in a hole without some kind of "dedication"? There are times here when people are so poor they won't even take a body out of the morgue. (thankfully that doesn't happen a lot) 

What's the worth of a life that would never have been normal? Because I can't help thinking life will be much easier for the mom. Maybe the sister has a better chance now.

"God clothes the lilies of the fields.. will he not much more care for "one of his little ones"? I'm glad God doesn't base his love on how intelligent we are, or how cute, or how useful. This little soul had God's complete love. God loves... beautiful flowers, bright sunsets, powerful waves of the ocean.. and little innocent souls.  I'm glad I was able to help and once in a while make the last 4 or 5 months of Exerson's life more comfortable.

   

Mother Roseland, sister Matiana and Exerson